Andrea King Collier

I threw down the challenge to black women all over the country to get involved in the health and wellbeing of our men, when I wrote The Black Woman’s Guide to Black Men’s Health. The book , which was originally called Because We Love You  came out in February and by September I have gotten some interesting comments and questions from the women who love you. They feel shut down and shut out when it comes to being supportive of you and your health.  The bottom line is that some of you are making it really hard for a sister to help save your life. Hear me. I didn’t say “making it difficult to get your attention while you are watching the football game.” I said that you are making it difficult for us to help you SAVE YOUR LIFE and the quality of your life.

It would be different if you were staying on top of it all. I think we would all be happy to be put out of business, if we could count on you to make sure you were taking good care of your diet and exercise, your dental health and your essential health screenings like your blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes and prostate and colorectal screenings. If we could count on you to take the medications you need to keep your heart running right, we wouldn’t  feel the need to do it.

A man came up to me recently and said that “women just want to be in control of everything. Getting them in my health business is just another means of control.”  My answer was simple. “I don’t know what kind of women you know, but the women I am talking to love somebody and they don’t want to lose them. It is the bottom line.”  Let me put it another way. If the issue of control is why you don’t let a woman who loves you help, think of the loss of control you will have if you have a heart attack, or if you get diagnosed with prostate or colorectal cancer at the end stages when it is too late to help you survive. Or if you won’t stop smoking—which is a key risk factor for everything especially deadly lung cancer. By the way, if you are a smoker, you put everybody you love at risk because second-hand smoke kills people.

Some of you I know, and enjoy being in your company. Others I have never met. But I know that if you are getting this somebody loves you dearly. This week was Tom Joyner’s annual Take A Loved One to the Doctor Day. It was also the week that I did yet another health story on how our black men are more likely to have every major disease than their white counterparts and are most likely to wait until it’s too late to get diagnosed. It’s tough trying to fit it all in. And it’s scary to think about being that sick. But you know (I know you do) what it’s like when stuff hits close to home. A church brother, or a fraternity brother, or Pookie who grew up down the street from you, or your father or brother dies from something that could have been avoided.

Let the women who love you help. If you think she doesn’t know how to help, have her email me and I will send her some tips. If you want to go it alone and need to know what you should be doing, email me and I will get you some answers. And if you have some tips on how women can help you best, share them with me and I will post them on my website.  My email address is andrea@andreacollier.com. The website is andreacollier.com.   

And by the way, it doesn’t have to just be women who reach out to black men. You need to be reaching out to each other on this. If there is a black man that you think needs to hear the message, please pass it on.

Take Good Care,

Andrea King Collier